People who tell themselves they are not allowed to make mistakes have a strong internal critic. Nothing is ever good enough. They can always do better. Striving for perfection is a good habit, but being dissatisfied is not. You can be satisfied and at the same time strive for perfection or for better performances.
Focussing on the things that went wrong and being annoyed by it costs energy. During moments of frustration you are losing lots of energy. People that are being perfectionistic are focussing too much on the things that didn't go well instead of focussing on the things that did go well. The result is that these negative patterns are being anchored in their brains. The signal "NOT GOOD" or "NOT GOOD ENOUGH" can not give you much confidence but gives you the opposite, a feeling of insecurity. Performance anxiety is the result of this process.
You can train yourself to shift your attention from the negative to the positive. This is not fooling yourself but helping yourself to better perform. Your negative thoughts are probably realistic but they are NOT helping you. And they probably don't make you feel good about yourself, so why keep doing it?
www.prestatiepsychologie.nl
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